What follows is semi tongue-in-cheek, and semi serious. Most things I write about myself do have some humour in them, and this is no exception, but I do get asked these questions a lot. Well, I've been asked all of them at least once.
Q. Um. I don't want to offend you by asking, but how did you get blind?
A. First of all, no question is going to offend me, that's almost impossible when it comes to blindness. I can't promise not to laugh if the question isn't particularly bright (see below for an example of this), but I won't be offended. This one is actually the most frequently unasked, but wondered about question.
The answer is long, though, and can be found in the previous post.
Q. Hey, how on earth do you use the computer?
A. For me personally, I have a text-to-speech program called JAWS (job access with speech). It converts everything that is in text, and reads it to me, with inflections for punctuation. It's sometimes utter crap with names, though. And even worse when things are misspelled.
Others use other ways. If you're just low vision,you can get programs to magnify the screen, and there are also Braille display keyboards, where there is a row at the very bottom with little pins. These pins pop up to form a line of Braille for a line of text, so you can read line by line. I hate Braille, though, and avoid it.
Q. You just answered the phone by greeting me by name. How the hell did you do that?
A. Talking stuff, again. I have a talking call display that speaks the number of the person calling. I learn to recognize numbers that frequently call. I also have a talking watch, talking clock... hell, half the things I own talk to me. Or maybe that's just in my mind.
Q. Hey, Blind Kitten, can you check out my picture?
A. Nope, I can't. I do have a bit of sight, enough to see lights and distinguish very vague shapes and some colours, but all I see from my laptop's screen is a blue-white light.
Q. Dude, how the hell do you type?
A. I was taught to type at age 12... that would be 23 years ago. By this point, I type without even thinking about it. I just know where the numbers are.
Q. Hey, why do you keep your eyes closed so much?
A. Remember that comment about seeing light? Well, I see it really, *really* well. Ever gone to an eye doctor and gotten those eye drops that dilate your pupil, then walked out into bright sunlight? I'm like that all the time, some light hurts. Also, I spend so much of my time listening that I frequently shut my eyes to better focus on it. It's just habit, though I suspect it means I look sleepy all the time. But that does fit in with being feline.
Q. So, just what can you see?
A. If you really want to know, here's an experiment: Get a pair of goggles. Cover up the right lens entirely. Now, take some vaseline. Quite a lot of it, actually. Smear it liberally over the outside of the left lens. Now, put on the goggles. Tadaa, you're in my world. That's what I see. Nothing on the right, and very, *very* blurred on the left.
Q. Is it true that your other senses become sharper if you lose one?
A. You know, I'm still not sure. My hearing isn't any sharper than that of the average bear, but my ability to discern information from what I hear is considerably more developed than that of most people. On the other hand, I am quite sensitive to touch. So, I don't know if it is a nature or nurture thing, but I do think I pay more attention to my remaining senses.
Q. Can blind people have sex?
A. I wish I could say I've never been asked this question, but... I have. Okay, only once, but I have. I share it just to give you a measuring stick. If you have a question, and you think it might be a stupid question, just compare it to this one. If it seems less intelligent than this than, yes, it may be stupid, but ask anyway as it will amuse me. Otherwise, ask without fear.
Oh. And the answer is... yes. Yes, we can, and we are damned good at it.
Q. Blind Kitten, do you want to feel my corset/skirt/sexy little dress?
A. Yes, I do. But not your face,I don't actually get anything out of feeling people's faces. But I can tell how sexy you are by feeling your outfit. It isn't just an excuse to grope all the cute and sexy ladies that I know, honest.
Q. Can you recognize me just by my voice/boobs/height/body odour?
A. No to the last one. :P Ditto to the second last one. By boobs... only one person currently has that distinction. As for voice... it depends. There are some people that I always know, every single time. There are some who have a 50/50 shot of being recognized by voice, and then there are some that I just never, ever get. This has absolutely no bearing on how nice your voice is, or vice versa, nor on how well I know you. So, please, if you think we're bosom companions but I don't know you when you say hello, don't take offense. And it's better to tell me who you are (even if I answer with "I know" every time, I have a tendency to fear offending people so sometimes pretend to know who you are while secretly not having a sweet freaking clue)
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